MyMart

So, most of you know that I’ve recently changed locations for my job. All of Mylan’s Morgantown IT and Legal departments consolidated into one location, rather than spread out over 4 locations around town. Our new building is what everyone around town refers to as “the OLD Wal-Mart” which is attached to the “old mall” which is a ghost town at best.

Mylan likes to cleverly add “My” to the beginning of many departments/ applications/ happenings that go on around here. For example, the application that my team developed is called “MyPortfolio”. We see and hear things like “MyOpportunity, MyRewards, MyUniversity”....you get the point. So it was only natural that when we found out we would be moving into the old Wal-Mart, that it became lovingly called “MyMart”. (only in certain circles, of course!). Now, of course, they renovated the old Wal-Mart, turning it into a sleek office building on the inside. You would never know that it was a Wal-Mart at one time...if it weren’t for the outside. That’s a pretty distinctive thing to have to change. So yes, the outside, greenhouse and all, still looks like a Wal-Mart without the sign (plus some windows...), but the inside is incredible. It was a great move for me because it’s around an 8 minute drive from my house!! This means that I don’t have to get caught in the middle of Morgantown during 5 o’clock traffic! It cuts down my evening commute about 40 minutes. Needless to say, I appreciate the move.

I mentioned that this Wal-Mart was attached to the “old mall”-the Mountaineer Mall. When it was a Wal-Mart, you could enter in, pass the food area on the left and hook a left into the mall (passing tons of WVU and Steelers gear, of course). They amended the entrance to the mall, making it “Mylan secure” with an incredibly complicated turnstile. To move from our office to the mall, you must swipe your badge over the sensor, step into the weight sensored circle and wait for the door to smoothly advance one space to drop you out on the other side. It sounds like a suction cup on the inside. If you mess up the timing, you’ll look silly just standing in the turnstile waiting for it to move. (I have passed that area several times only to see someone standing in this exact position wondering how this process actually works....and in case you were wondering...yes, I did help them:-)

If you master this process, you have won the right to enter into the Mall. Now, right around the time that the Wal-Mart moved out of this building (2005 I think), all of the stores began to leave this mall. The only remaining stores are Goodwill, another local Thrift store, a home store of some sorts, the social security office, a salon, a Subway, and a hot dog place. There are a few other random things like a senior center, but it’s hard to tell what they really are because there are no signs or advertisement giving away their locations. The main idea is that it’s old, and deserted. This also means that the mall has a certain “smell”....it’s like....hmm...moth balls....or what I like to refer to as “the old people smell”. (no offense to those of you that think you’re old....you’re not...so this doesn’t apply to you!) The “old people smell” is like a wave that smacks you in the face when you enter into the mall. It’s very strong and in every nook and cranny of the mall. Luckily, our office does not smell like this...yet! The only connection to the mall is this air tight turnstile. There is also a door that remains unlocked between the turnstile and the actual mall, but this does little to keep out the smell.

I was walking past this area last week and found a group of around 5 people standing there looking perplexed in front of the door. I immediately prepared myself to go into “tutorial mode” to explain the door function...but then realized that’s not why they were standing there. They were all sniffing...and asking what that smell was in this part of the building...in this portion of the hallway. So, being the nice, informative person that I am, leaned into their group (of whom I didn’t know any of them) and whispered...”it’s the old people smell from the mall”. They gasped! Our worst fear had come true....the smell was seeping in! Now we all fear that one day we will leave our office and our families will utter...”what’s that smell?” as we enter the door. That’s a bummer....

Before I depart from my description of MyMart, I must share my most recent discovery in the mall. A hurricane simulator. Yep, you read it right....a Hurricane Simulator! I was walking back from Subway or the hot dog place one day and noticed that this machine had just appeared in the middle of the hallway between thrift stores. At most malls, you would expect strange things like this...but who drops something like this into a deserted mall?? I was expecting to open the door and walk into the magical land of Narnia or something...very mystical. We got a coworker to try it out-Gus. Thanks to Gus, we now know that’s it’s difficult to breathe in 90 mph winds....Thanks Gus! 

All in all—it was a good move. I’m very thankful for MyMart and the opportunities that it holds within. Not to mention that MySubway has awesome cookies for only 49 cents a piece! MyScore!