10 Things Moms wish their kids knew

So I read this hilarious article earlier today, I thought I'd share it.  It somewhat applies to mother's of boys, but none-the-less, very funny.  Enjoy!


10 Things Parents Wish Kids Knew

1.  Whining generally has the opposite affect as intended.  It seems that my kids like to whine to get me to do their bidding.  Or possibly to gain some sympathy.  But, what they need to realize is that I will never go to the dark side their whining tends to produce the opposite effect of that which they desire.  I seriously stop listening the moment their whiny voices appear and, the only thing that invokes sympathy around here is blood, and sometimes that doesn’t even work.
2.  Silence is golden.  Unless someone is asking you a direct question that requires your response, and then?  It’s just weird.  The Dudes seem to have perfected the art of producing a blank stare when someone is attempting to engage you in a conversation that requires your input.  I’m pretty sure people think my kids are deaf (okay, one sorta is) or just not all that bright (they all are, I swear).  Really, they are just really socially awkward, something they probably get from their mom dad.  Thankfully I know the ability to not creep people out can be learned over time.
3.  Flushing is NOT optional.  It is a requirement.  Doesn’t matter if it’s a ONE or a TWO it needs to be completely disposed of shortly after it makes its appearance.
4.  Wiping is NOT optional either.  See above.  And, don’t bother trying to deny, I’ve got proof!  I wish I didn’t, believe me, I wish I didn’t, but I do.
5.  Shouting is unnecessary.  Myself and everyone else in the vicinity can hear, despite our best efforts not to.
6.  I’m smarter than you are.  Sure you’re probably faster, and before long we all know you’re gonna be bigger and stronger, but I am always gonna be smarter.  I’m a girl, it’s a given.
7.  I know when you’re faking.  Faking sleep.  Faking sick.  And, most importantly, faking the truth.
8.  I don’t care about at least 50% of the things you think I care about.  Like, if your room is clean.  Or, if you wear your flip flops to school when you have gym.  Or, if you like to go commando on the days you have gymnastic practice.  I make a big deal about that junk because I care about YOU.  I care that you know about good hygiene.  I care about you wearing safe footwear so you don’t break your face on the pavement.  And, I care that you don’t flash your junk man bits to a room full of tween girls while you jump on the trampoline.
9.  I’m not made of money.  And, even if I was, I wouldn’t buy you 50 packs of gum or a Big Gulp, or that whatever-majig you are asking for at the check out stand.  I would build a big house, with a pool so I could wear my swimsuit in peace.  And then I’d have a huge Mariah-Carey-style closet put in so I could play dress up all day while the nanny drove you to soccer practice and helped you with that bloody homework.
10.  I freakin love you.  Not like a little either.  Like a whole, whole lot.  Like more than your little brain can even begin to understand.  And one day, I know that you will know it and thank me.  I’ll be here when you’re ready



Hope you laughed as much as I did :-)  I also wanted to share a favorite photo from our vacation last week.  I'll be trying to get an album up on Facebook for most of the pics later this week depending on how our evenings pan out.  But here's a preview.  I believe this was in "China" in Epcot's World Showcase.  There was a budha statue with his belly hanging out.  We felt the resemblence was remarkable.

6 months!

So I'm actually 6 months pregnant.  Of course, I get really confused with this whole month numbering system...because pregnancy is 40 weeks--and that is really more like 10 months.  Whoever started that 9 month rumor didn't know what they were talking about.  or maybe they were counting from when you "conceived" rather than the date when they actually turn on "the clock"--cause those aren't the same dates either.  Or maybe it's like 9 FULL months...not "you have the baby when you're 9 months".  Very confusing.  Luckily--it doesn't really matter EXACTLY how far along I am.  I am 24 weeks--and when you divide that by 4 weeks--that makes 6!  6 months means another belly picture--and since I can now take these with my phone, I can present month 6 picture to you today.  Oh--and by the way, if you skipped my last post because it looked boring and the picture was uninteresting, you're missing some surprise pics at the bottom of the post.  I didn't want them showing up on people's Google Reader summary screens, but if you actually read this blog, you are welcome to view them.

We have been taking a monthly picture in the same clothes since 2 mths, and will put them all together for a collage when we're all through this.  I saw the idea on Pinterest...where else?  I'm also adding the first two - because they were passed on to me.  Hopefully I'll be able to put all of them on here at some point together--makes for a better slide show :-)

6 months

3 months

2 months

After seeing these three together, I am going to go ahead and make the call that I like the ones from Adam's phone more.  I will retake the 6 month tonight and that way they'll all be consistant. 

Ps.  Mylan's Turkey Noodle Soup is really good.

Labor Day

I'm not really sure what Labor Day is for.  What it stands for, anyway.  All I know is that it means I get a day off.  And that is exactly what I used it for.  Now, keep in mind, that a day off for me consists of organizing my life.  Not exactly doing nothing, but that is what I enjoy doing in my free time.  Organizing stuff to make life easier.  Yesterday's task--get our finances in order.  I have become some lazy about keeping up with everything that I'm constantly struggling to get things done at this last minute.  Not that anything has gone unpaid, or any deadlines missed, but I'm doing things last minute and on the fly.  Not my preferred way of functioning.  I know what my parents are thinking..."How did she become this when she was intent on studying the night before tests because she said that's how she learned the best??"  I know....I know.  I'm just a different person now.  I can't explain it.  Does this constant need to prepare for things means that I am always prepared and organized??  Hardly.  I'm just saying that when I get to spend time preparing or organizing, it has a calming effect on me.  It's something I enjoy doing when I have time to do it--and yesterday, I did.

I even made time to go on a walk last night.  I enjoy walking.  Gives me time to think.  I am not a huge fan of walking by myself in my neighborhood, but sometimes that is my only option.   Unfortunately, I am finding that when I walk a lot, say..20 minutes or so, I begin cramping.  My stomach begins cramping.  It's the feeling I had last week that sent me to the Dr's office.  They checked everything out.  I'm not having contractions--or at least, wasn't at the time I was in the office.  It seems whatever kidney issues I'm having likes to spread from my whole lower to mid back around my right side and all the way to under my belly.  It's not pleasant, but not entirely painful.  Just uncomfortable enough to make me stop to bring my knee to my chest.  That seems to help.  I'm just now realizing that we have a trip to Disney planned for next week.  I'm going to be walking for miles and miles everyday.  This could be an issue.  Oh wait!  They have wheelchairs!  Hello, comfortable seat!  This could be fun.  And when I'm doing ok and want to walk, I can push Adam around and he can pretend to have some ailement.  He'll like that.  Maybe I should take an Ace Bandage or something to make it more obvious for him.  Hmmm...

I am looking forward to the vacation.  I really enjoy the drive there.  We get to talk about what we want to do, eat litle snacks the whole way down, and I get some much needed down time to just read whatever I want and zone out.  We leave Saturday morning for that.  Maybe during that week, I can blog one funny picture a day with a little note about it.  Short and sweet.  That will be my goal.  Can't wait!

Ok--now, the moment you've all been waiting for.  A belly picture.  This is the picture I'm taking every Wednesday (this was last wednesday)  This is not for facebook.  It's the only one I have on my phone to transfer in.  The lighting is horrible, but it's the only one we took during the day, so the window light is shining through.  I must say, I look much bigger than this picture shows...I think, anyway.  Today I feel like I'm trying to smuggle a watermelon through my work day.  How much bigger can I get, really??

This is the "distraction" picture I am putting on here so my bare belly doesn't end up on everyone's Google Reader summary screen.  I asked it if the baby was really a girl....it said "Indications say Yes".  Glad it's finally official.

23 weeks.

Goodbye flat stomach.  It was fun while it lasted :-)

Have a lovely day...and you're welcome ;-)